Self Righteousness

What a thing self righteousness is. It leads me to deceive myself so badly that I believe the lies to be true. Lies like:

• That person doesn’t love/care me half as much as I love/care for them or they would do xyz… for me.
• No one has been through or is going through the things that i have, therefore no one will understand my circumstances.
• I am better than the next person because I have lived my life better than so and so, loved better than so and so and suffered more than so and so.

The whole reason I decided to write this is because I have been going through a funk where I am just weary in need of rest; but only now acknowledge it for what it really is. About 15 minutes ago I was actually thinking that I don’t understand this funk that is leading to thoughts of suicide. Thoughts of how I have shown love/care and received (what I perceived to be), a backhanded response in return.

Thank God for His Word and enduring patience. Finally I listened to the Holy Spirit above my feelings and picked up my Bible and read a scripture. It has given me such a different perspective, even though that particular chapter was talking about other things. This keeps on showing me that the Bible is still relevant and speaks to those willing to listen. Sometimes even to those who listen halfheartedly.

Thank you God that you don’t give up on us as we might give up on you and those around us. Thank you for speaking to me and lifting my spirits.

xx Your Work in Progress

Oh, the things I’ve heard…

I was having a laugh with my parents recently about the crazy lines guys have used on me.

Here’s some examples:

• Any guy would be lucky to date you/marry you (so said the single man)
• I’ve never met another girl like you before (single man then proceeds to date another girl)
• You have a good heart (this usually means that you are not attractive enough to date)

My Dad had a good laugh at these. He couldn’t believe that this is true, it really is though.

But then again, my own Father has said some similar lines…. I was reading a book called “how to find a date worth keeping” Pretty good book. It opened my eyes to a few things. The subtitle to the book was “Be dating in 6 months or your money back”. Excitedly I showed it to my Father. So he look at me, smiles and says: “so are you going to get your money back?”. Thanks Dad!

Thanks to my amazing parents I have a good sense of humour as well as a good self-esteem.

This is really just a quick post to honour my parents. They raised me well. It must have been torturous raising a demon aka my-teen-years.

Love you lots Mom and Dad.

Crush-Frenzy

Is it love at first sight? No, it can’t be. I don’t believe in love at first sight; plus it was more of a matter of “irritation at first conversation”.

Is it infatuation? Nope.

Maybe it’s a plain-old-crush. Yes! That is what it seems to be.

How did I go from sheer irritation to crush mode in under a week? Funny thing, I honestly just decided to like him instead of having him get under my skin every time he opened his mouth.

Now here is the conundrum of this whole situation. When I feel these strange “crush-frenzy” feelings coming on, I react one of 2 ways:

1. Blush and get giddy. Never ceasing to smile and lapping up every word.
2. Get all serious and business like. Not really smiling and ignoring the poor guy to the point of him thinking that I don’t care for him at all! Yet, all the while I’m hyper aware of him. Aware of any fleeting glances that might come my way.

Hopeless is what I am, when it comes to the matters of the heart. It’s so lovely and extremely confusing to experience these gushing emotions that make me feel like a 13 y/o girl at a Justin Bieber concert. Oh not to mention, embarrassing. Some days I feel like it would be better if I didn’t feel these feelings at all!

Thankfully I realise that should I want a relationship, this is just part and parcel of what I need to go through to get there.

So what’s my way forward to avoid this crush frenzy feelings? No cooking clue! But I shall certainly take it each day as it comes, each crush as they come my way. Hoping to keep a level head amidst all the crush-frenzy.

“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.”

The Daily Post

As a child, the anticipation of eating one of my mom’s freshly made brownies nearly drove me to the brink of insanity. She had a rule about how long they needed to cool down before my sister and I could cut them. I’d be bouncing off the walls with excitement until the kitchen timer dinged, and I was allowed to dig in. Oh, the humanity.

While those brownies were absolutely delicious, it was my eagerness and impatience before eating them that was the real rush.

Years later, my mom’s rules about her homemade baked goods reflect how I like to tell a story. Whether my tale is verbal or written, fiction or non-fiction, it’s my goal to hook my audience, build excitement, and create mystery about the resolution. The best compliment I can ever receive is, “I couldn’t stop reading. I couldn’t put it down.” 

Any genre, any topic, can thrill a reader…if you know how to…

View original post 731 more words

Cassandra Clare

What a captivating author!

I never was one to read fantasy, but Cassandra Clare captured interest from the get go. Someone recommended I read her books, and as you can tell, I did.

I had inkling of where to start, so I picked the 1st booking saw on Kindle (which happened to be The Infernal Devices Part 1). Not being an  avid fantasy reader, it took my imagination a while to kick in and envision what she so beautifully laid out before me. I loved her books so much that once I was done with that I swiftly moved on to Cassandra Clare’s; “The Mortal Instruments”. I read through all 6 book in as short a time as 2 weeks. (Which is very fast for someone like me, who tends to be a slow reader).

I cannot wait to climb under the covers and cosy up to the next few books she has to offer

Insecurity

Insecurity. What an irrational feeling! An irrational feeling that can easily dominate our lives.

I used to be insanely jealous. Tried to keep my friends so close to me that they would be my friend alone.  Because they were MINE. I know right, sounds insane! That’s why I call insecurity, irrational.

What is the cure for it? I’m not entirely sure. I think the best way to overcome it is by dealing with yourself. At times now, it seems like I don’t care for my friends. I really do, but I now know how to invest the right amount of time and energy into a relationship to make it work, and not get THOSE feelings.

Here’s to hoping I can maintain it!:)

Living authentically

gugulethuw

Photo by link service.com

I am a firm believer in knowing one’s value and providing it. Everyone has a special thing about them that no one can replicate. Who are you when you don’t fear judgement or disappointing others? The you without compromises and effort.

Finding your authentic self is harder than it seems. I once watched a movie where the lady set out to learn more about herself after coming out of a  relationship.  It was funny to me that she did not know how she even preferred her eggs. However if you think about it, how many of us would make the same choices we make daily  if there was no one else around?

I’m not saying that occasionally conforming to society or even opening ourselves to new experiences is wrong but the problem arises when we start losing who we really are.

The message we communicate about…

View original post 67 more words