What a thing self righteousness is. It leads me to deceive myself so badly that I believe the lies to be true. Lies like:
- That person doesn’t love/care me half as much as I love/care for them or they would do xyz… for me.
- No one has been through or is going through the things that i have, therefore no one will understand my circumstances.
- I am better than the next person because I have lived my life better than so and so, loved better than so and so and suffered more than so and so.
The whole reason I decided to write this is because I have been going through a funk where I am just weary in need of rest; but only now acknowledge it for what it really is. About 15 minutes ago I was actually thinking that I don’t understand this funk that is leading to thoughts of suicide. Thoughts of how I have shown love/care and received (what I perceived to be), a backhanded response in return.
Thank God for His Word and enduring patience. Finally I listened to the Holy Spirit above my feelings and picked up my Bible and read a scripture. It has given me such a different perspective, even though that particular chapter was talking about other things. This keeps on showing me that the Bible is still relevant and speaks to those willing to listen. Sometimes even to those who listen halfheartedly.
Thank you God that you don’t give up on us as we might give up on you and those around us. Thank you for speaking to me and lifting my spirits.
xx Your Work in Progress
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